Florida Keys Trip for 50th Bday (Days 4-6)
Just to recap this is part 2 of the trip report for my 50th bday road trip to the Florida Keys in 2021, covering days 4 through 6. The travel party of Divas on this trip consisted of my daughter (26), my best friend and myself (The Original Diva or OD). Back to the trip!
Day 4 – “XXXX Blockers”-- Key West/Nine One Five/801 Bourbon Bar:
Whew you made it to Day 4. This day ends in complete and total infamy! Trust. It was a lazy day. The not-so-wee-bairn (in my best Scottish accent, think Shrek here) walked to Starbucks to bring us back some coffee and breakfast as the coffee at the hotel was, you guessed it – just ok but it was expensive. I know, I know. Starbucks was not really any cheaper, but it made me feel better and I was creeping ever closer to half a century mark so leave me alone.
My memory of the daytime activities is foggy (hey I’m old!). I think we got drinks from the pool bar that were very subpar to the ones we were making in the room and of course more expensive. The BFF had made plans for us to go to dinner at Nine One Five on Duval Street. It looks like a quant restaurant, a very NOLA/Caribbean vibe to the outside of what looked like a house turned restaurant. I say outside as we never made it inside because were seated on what would have been the front lawn, right up against the porch. It was humid and muggy, but we made the best of it. Tonight, parking cost $20 but it ended up being so worth it as you will see in a bit.
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| Dark & Stormy(left) The Franita (right) |
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| Junior and the BFF |
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Tip: if you do go here, especially in summer, try to get a table abutted to the porch as they do have retractable canopies that can mostly cover the tables near the porch if needed. But even better if you can get a table on the covered porch as there are ceiling fans there while the tables in the yard are serviced by a few small struggling oscillating fans.
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| How it started |
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| How it ended |
This is where the true fun begins! We decided to walk back with the Rug Rat to where she parked the car. On the way the girls stopped to shop for some cigars and so I could get off my knee for a bit. We didn’t want to head straight back to the hotel, and I did not want to hike too far off the path back to the car to find a bar but lo and behold.
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| Cigar Shopping |
What was that literally abutting the parking lot? A bar!! A fun bar! How did we know? All the doors were open, New Orleans style, and they were playing 80s music. So, in we went to 801 Bourbon Bar. Turned out to be a lively gay bar. We posted up on the far side of the bar and were having a grand ole time. People kept coming in and heading down a hallway that was directly behind us and the bartender would yell “It’s closed!!” After several times of doing this, he told us he wished he had a chain or something to put up. So BFF and I, being the ever helpful folks we are, were like “We got you!” And in between singing and drinking, played bouncer/security and stopped folks from going down that hallway.
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| BFF and I in 801 |
One guy kept messing with us and tried to catch us slipping on the job to sneak by us. He ended up buying me a fireball shot for my birthday (nice try at distraction sir but this chick had a job to do!) anyways…we would be singing Sweet Child of Mine or It’s Raining Men at top of voices and suddenly see someone either sneaking or confidently striding past and we would immediately stop and yell “It’s closed!” And the whole bar would crack up! Some of the denied folks looks so sheepish. I felt a bit like Gandalf in Lord of the Rings confronting the Balrog “you shall not pass!” Ok, ok enough of my geek moment.
It was not until almost the end of our night and about 5 Jack ‘n Cokes and a couple Fireball shots that the bartender, who by this time we were calling each other “dah-ling”, let us know what we were so vehemently protecting - the porn room. Yes, a room where they play gay porn. It is obviously pretty popular as a lot of people came in and headed straight for it. He got a bit graphic on what goes on in there and thanked us for our dedicated service with a saucy wink. We about fell out laughing. So that is how the Divas Traveling Wild got to be unwitting bouncers/security for a porn room for one glorious night! It can never be unchecked from my bucket list now (I added it post event as who knew that was a thing?). Would we still have done it if we had known? Hell yes. While I hate being the one to deny anyone their porn fix. It had to be done that night and we served proudly!
We were snacky after all these shenanigans, so the Matured Egg went to Wendy’s and grabbed us some spicy nuggets. Once back in the room, we tried to partake of them and all I can report is that not all spicy nuggets are created equal. These were hot as all...let’s just say I am known to carry hot sauce with me and I was not able to finish these lil lava drops. Of course, to end the night my knee gave out as I was getting up and I fell flat out and like the Life Alert Commercial of old – “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!”. It took both of the other divas to get me up onto the sofa. Man did that hurt!! So it stands to reason that my scalawag was immensely amused all night long at the BFF and I and since I was not seriously hurt, this was the cherry on top for her.
We were snacky after all these shenanigans, so the Matured Egg went to Wendy’s and grabbed us some spicy nuggets. Once back in the room, we tried to partake of them and all I can report is that not all spicy nuggets are created equal. These were hot as all...let’s just say I am known to carry hot sauce with me and I was not able to finish these lil lava drops. Of course, to end the night my knee gave out as I was getting up and I fell flat out and like the Life Alert Commercial of old – “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!”. It took both of the other divas to get me up onto the sofa. Man did that hurt!! So it stands to reason that my scalawag was immensely amused all night long at the BFF and I and since I was not seriously hurt, this was the cherry on top for her.
Day 5 – “Nothing to see here”-- Key West:
Yep, really nothing to report this day. We mostly stayed in the room and rested and I actually was hurting from my little spill the night before. So we all kind of assumed positions around the suite and watched tv, played SIMS or read. Couple of forays out to the balcony but otherwise a very low-key day. Room service for both lunch and dinner. These meals are described in the hotel review located here - https://www.divastravelingwild.com/2021/07/ocean-key-resort-key-west-fl.html. We did our own Red Table Talk about relationships and Girl Power. Overall it was still a great day.
Day 6 – “All Hail the Queen”—Key West/Birthday/Latitudes:
The day was finally here. I was the big 5-0. The ladies tricked me into a long shower to sooth my sore muscles and while I was enjoying my steamy sojourn, they decorated the suite. Too sweet! (See what I did there?). We ordered a late room service breakfast and made mimosas from our portable bar stock. It was another hot day and we had to be at the Opal Key Resort at 7:45 to catch the ferry over to Sunset Key for a dinner reservation at Latitudes.
Time out for a nerd trivia break! Sunset Key is a 27-acre island that is part of the city of Key West about 500 yards off the coast. It is a private island, so you are only allowed there if you own one of the residential parcels (eighty-six gorgeous million-dollar homes or two vacant lots) , are staying at the Sunset Key Cottages (a very pricey Westin resort) or have a ressie for a meal at Latitudes. There are no shops, grocery stores, cars (only some golf carts or any type of infrastructure on the island. Sunset Key used to be called Tank Island by the navy, until it was sold and renamed in 1994, because it was primarily a fuel tank depot, in response to the Cuban Missile Crisis. I kinda threw a dig at how pricy the cottages are but to be fair, the Sunset Key Cottages have won lots of awards and is considered a top resort. I am just jealous that I was not willing to shell out that kind of money (I did look and counted all my fingers and toes, twice, to see if I could swing it, no dice). It seems very relaxing there and quiet with its own private beach, but you are at the mercy of the ferry if you want to shop, dine out (beyond Latitudes), bar hop etc. Though the ferry does run 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week, every 30 minutes.
The theme for my birthday dinner was of course -Wild -so I had asked the divas to wear animal print of their choosing in whatever way suited them. Of course we were overdressed as everyone else was “country club casual” but ask me if we cared. You guessed it – Not at all! We arrived with plenty of time for the ferry. Families were lining up with pizzas and groceries etc to take back to the island. The ferry came in and they 1st took those who were living or staying on the island and they had to show a pass. Once they were all loaded, they then pulled out a clip board and started checking of reservations. If you think you can catch a ride over early and wander about – not going to happen. You are given a ferry time when you make a reservation. And that is the only time you are allowed to ride over. There was a couple in front of us and the lady stopped them cold, with you are scheduled to be on the 8:15pm ferry. Please step aside, and we will see you then. Wow! They take the privacy of island residents and guests seriously!
Man, I’m starving, on to dinner. The ferry has both inside and outside seating areas and the ride was around 7 minutes. We asked to sit indoors as it was very hot and humid outside still and were seated right away right by the windows. This presented a very nice view of the sunset. Per usual a round of drinks kicked things off – Blood Orange Cosmo (Stohli Vanil Vodka, Solerno Blood Orange Liqueur, lime, cranberry), Pomegranate Margarita (1800 Reposado Tequila, Pama Liqueur, agave and fresh lime juice) and Latitude 24N 81W(House cucumber and pineapple infused vodka), St. Germain, pineapple juice and a splash of sour). The drinks were not bad but for $15 each, I had higher expectations.
We ordered the Artisan Cheese platter and for $29, it was meh. More accoutrements than cheese. But we got over it. Now dinner is when I had the most amazing plate of food. Both the BFF and the munchkin got the Pan Roasted Chicken for $35 (griddled corn bread, smoked blueberries, pecan haricot vert, brown butter bourbon sauce). Neither recall that dish fondly or really at all. They both felt the smoked blueberries were weird in the dish and the chicken was just ok. BFF did not like the cornbread at all while the snot factory says it grew on her but still nothing she would go back for. The birthday girl’s Grilled Center Cut Tenderloin (garlic mashed, braised leek, seasoned vegetables, brie fondue, crispy leeks) was phenomenal. That brie fondue and crispy leeks were perfect complement to the rich creamy potatoes and the tender steak. I did take pity on my girls and gave them each a little bit but it was all MINE, MINE, MINE!! I was in heaven. It made up for all the other half steps of the evening and of the trip. That is how good it was to me. The girls even thought it was so durn good. Now maybe I am saying all that hype because it was $72 freakin dollars. But then again, I didn’t pay for it as it was my bday treat but still… it is weeks later, and I am plotting a road strip down just to get me another steak. A Crème Brule split 3 ways finished off the meal. I believe it was good but to be honest I was still enamored of the tenderloin, so I don’t remember.
We sat on the dock for a bit waiting for the ferry, listening to the waves. A great end to a great meal. Overall Latitudes had a good vibe and good staff. The prices as expected were on the high side but the quality of food did not quit live up to it (besides that damn steak that I cannot get out of my mind). It is a great spot for a special occasion meal to feel pampered and have a great view. Would I go back? For that beautiful piece of meat? You bet your sweet as….umm yes, yes I would. If that was off the menu, not so sure. It is a bit of a hassle getting there and the rest of the food was no better than what could be had in Key West proper.
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